52 Ways to Annoy Monday's Noon, formerly Dusk
by Miss Pookamonga
Summary: You've been waiting for the next 52 Ways to Annoy... fic. Now it's here, and Noon has finally been subjected to my wrath! Ahahaha!


_Dear Readers,_

_Thanks to all who read and enjoyed my other "52 Ways to Annoy..." fics! Here is Monday's Noon, finally. Laugh your hearts out!_

_Best Regards from a Bookworm,_

_Miss Pookamonga ;-P_

_and her muses, Suzy, Sunny, Sally, and Captain Jack, who had disappeared for awhile but have now returned to seek their revenge on this poor author, for who knows what reason_

**52 Ways to Annoy, Harass, or Otherwise Bother Monday's Noon (formerly Dusk)**

Constantly tell him that there are wacky fangirls out there who think he is hot.

Tell him that Dusk is better than he is.

Eat so much candy that you become hyper enough to scare him into hiding in his room and cowering under his bed.

Find him under the bed and scream loudly for no apparent reason.

Hold his hand and drag him places while skipping and singing _Barney_ songs.

Bring him to a fair and tell him to buy you a balloon. If he refuses, start crying hysterically.

When all the sympathetic mothers walk by you, tell them that he was the one who made you cry.

Quietly walk away as the mothers gang up on him and start scolding him.

Crouch down and tiptoe behind him when he's not looking.

If he turns around, stand up straight again, look around, and ask, "What?"

Stand next to him for ten minutes, then randomly slap him. If he asks what that was for, scream, "The sky is falling!" and run away.

Start analyzing Plato's allegory of the Cave whenever there is an awkward silence.

Tell him that he is a fictional character created by Garth Nix, and that his reality exists only in the minds of the author and the readers.

When he freaks out, keep telling him that he isn't real.

Compare him to Darth Vader.

When he asks who that is, begin a long 4-hour explanation about their similarities, including how they used to wear black all the time.

Then tell him he used to be emo.

When asks what that means, tell him again that he isn't real and his questions don't really matter.

Point and laugh hysterically when he gets mad after you say this.

Run away before he does anything harmful to you.

Ask him if whether the reason he's so tall is because he's on steroids.

Take a very large book and whack him in the back with it. Laugh hysterically when he falls over.

Do the same thing again.

Do it a third time.

Run away laughing and leave him on the floor.

Every time you see him after this incident, tell him how funny it was to see him knocked over like a domino.

Randomly ask him if he's been playing dominoes recently.

Steal his sword and burn his hair with it while he's sleeping.

When he wakes up and frantically tries to put the fire out, take a fire extinguisher and spray it in his face.

Keep spraying long after the fire has been extinguished.

Hide behind a corner in a random hallway. When he rounds the corner, slam a pie in his face.

Tell him that you secretly recorded this on a hidden camera.

Submit this video to America's Funniest Home Videos and YouTube and use it to blackmail him.

Tell him that Arthur died. Watch his reaction.

Lock him in a room with his brother. Film this and send the video to Suzy.

Force him to participate in the reality show _American Idol_.

Force him to watch his audition and repeat all of Simon's nasty comments in his ear.

Tie him to a chair and make him watch _Angels in the Outfield_.

Point at his wings and yell, "Angel!"

Ask him if he's been playing baseball lately. Then stand up and start flapping your arms.

Sign him up for _Beauty and the Geek_.

Have a gathering with all the other Denizens, Suzy, Arthur, Leaf, and any other random people every Wednesday night to watch the new episodes of _Beauty and the Geek._

Release his fangirls on him. Then lock the door.

Take surprise photos of him. Give these to Dusk, Dawn, Suzy, Dame Primus, and Arthur.

Ask him to do an aerial somersault for you. If he refuses, say "pieface" and snicker slyly.

Squeal and clap your hands when he does the somersault.

Sneak up behind him and dump cold Coke on his head.

Take a photo of him jumping up and screaming.

Go up to him at random moments and randomly yelp, "ZEEKYBOOGYDOO!" Then walk away calmly.

Link arms with him and insist that he read you a bedtime story. Say "pieface" or "domino" very ominously if he tries to refuse.

When he starts reading a story, yell out, "I HATE that story! Read another one!" When he starts reading another one, scream the same thing, and so on and so forth.

Buy him an un-potty-trained rabbit and present it to him with a pink card reading, "From Your Dearest, Most Number One-est Fangirl" bordered by red hearts.


End file.
